Saturday, September 11, 2010

The best revenge...

It was Ivana Trump, I believe, who said the best revenge is living well. I thought about that this morning. I still have almost daily bouts of depression and tears, wondering why I'm such a worthless person, why no one really loves me (except the grandbabies, of course). All I want is for my family to get along, and be friends. That includes my siblings, and my kids and in-laws. I know I am far from perfect, but I wish they could see how precious family is. I know I said some harsh things about my own family after Mom died, but I was in the very early stages of grief at that point. I still think they were insensitive and greedy and just plain cruel, but they are my siblings. I do miss talking to them. And missing Matt's wedding still hurts. I wish they could understand that you can't turn back time. The year we've lost is gone forever.

But there's nothing I can do about it. I've tried, heaven knows I've tried. I probably will never hear what Matt and Cassondra did with the wedding present I sent. Keep it? Return it? Toss it in the garbage??? Whatever. I made the effort.

I sent my sister an email last week. That's going to be the last time I try to contact any of them. If they hate me so much, so be it. When I'm rich and famous, they'll be sorry.

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