Wednesday, August 11, 2010

An Open Letter to my Siblings

Dear Susan, Douglas, and Joe

First of all, I would like to apologize and ask forgiveness. I know that in the weeks and months after Mom's death, I said and did things that caused you added pain and grief. My only defense is temporary insanity. The grief I was experiencing after losing not only my mother, but my best friend, was so intense, I literally thought my heart wasn't going to make it. Added to that was the shock of finding out that all the things I believed about my family were lies. None of you ever loved me, and things you said and did cast doubt on whether or not Mom had loved me as well. I know that doesn't erase words and deeds, but I am sincerely sorry for letting my grief override my judgement, and allowing me to say and do things I normally would not think of expressing.

But for me, at least, it's all in the past. I also forgive you for all the things you said and did that added to my pain and grief. Mom worried constantly that our family would fall apart after she died, and I never understood why. Now I do. I've tried to reach out to some of you, only to be ignored. I'm trying one last time to heal the rift. I know we'll never be best friends, but I wish with all my heart we could at least be civil to one another. For Mom's sake. Maybe that doesn't mean anything to you. Maybe you hate me so much you can't accept my apology. I hope not. I'm holding out my hand in peace and in hopes that we can put the last 18 months behind us and keep the family bond intact.
I do love all of you, and miss hearing from you.
your sister

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